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  • Elaine Sanders

Are You Walking On Eggshells with Your Horse??

Have you ever tied yourself in a knot with your horse?

Does he like me?

What if I do this, does he still like me?

What if I don’t do that, will he like me more?

Maybe I should’t work with him today. I don’t want him to get sick of me.

I don’t know about you, but there was a time that I questioned everything that I did because I so desperately wanted my horse to love me as much as I loved her. I would do something and then watch her face and body for signs that she didn’t like it. I would do things that she liked, hoping to buy her appreciation. I would avoid things she didn’t like, trying to avoid rocking the boat.

It was a nightmare.

And a recipe for anxiety.

Imagine being in a relationship with person who tiptoed around you, not wanting to tick you off. He’d do things you like, just so you’d like him. He’d avoid conversations that could lead to tension. He’d say things just to appease you. And all of this would be so filled with tension - in an attempt to avoid tension!

That isn’t relationship.

And yet we do it with horses all the time. We do it with people. We do it with ourselves. And we do it with God.

Instead of trying to win someone’s love, assume they love you and then act like it.

Here’s another human example. Let’s say you have a new co-worker. You value your work relationships and so you want to create a good partnership with this person. So do you try to appease them? Do you flatter them, and do things they like, in an attempt to win points?

Or do you just walk in, shake their hand, smile, and act like they like you already. There are no points to win. You don’t have to try. It’s just there.

Probably they’ll like you one way more than the other.

Same with our horses. We try so hard to make them like us, that we end up turning them off.

Instead assume your horse loves you.

Right now, close your eyes and assume your horse loves you. You have the love of your horse.

Now, act like it.

Act like you would with a human who loves you. Show up with joy, not with concern. Bring your full self to the partnership without needing the other to make you feel better about yourself. Make simple requests politely but with the confidence that your request isn’t going to damage the partnership. Be as kind as possible. Be as firm as you need to. Be always kind, polite, and confident.

Acting like someone loves you isn’t presumptuous. It also isn’t grovelling. It’s about being the best version of yourself. Take it or leave it.

Be the best version of yourself with The Foundation of Partnership. This 5 part video series was designed to give you the everything you need to know about the science of being the best version of yourself, exactly what that looks like, and how research shows that it truly does affect your horse and his performance. Click here to stop walking on eggshells and be the best version of yourself.

Here’s to you and your horse,

Elaine

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